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How to Rehearse and Plan for Difficult Conversations

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Hello, my beautiful sisters.

I see you.

You’ve been holding something in—maybe it’s a tough conversation you know you need to have but keep putting off.

Maybe it’s confronting a coworker, setting a boundary with a loved one, or standing up for yourself in a situation where you’ve been silent for too long.

And I get it. Difficult conversations are hard. The fear of conflict, the worry about how the other person will react, the anxiety of saying the wrong thing—it’s enough to make you stay quiet.

But sis, your voice matters. And today, we’re talking about how to rehearse and plan for difficult conversations so you can speak your truth with clarity, confidence, and calm.


The Worrying Beforehand is the Worst Part

I know what you might be thinking:

  • I don’t want to come off as aggressive or rude.
  • What if I forget what to say?
  • What if they get upset or don’t take me seriously?

Sis, I hear you. But let me remind you of this: You deserve to be heard.

Your feelings, your needs, your boundaries—they are valid. And the key to handling difficult conversations well is preparation.

So let’s talk about how to rehearse and plan for tough conversations in a way that keeps you in control and gets your point across effectively.


5 Steps to Rehearse and Plan for Difficult Conversations

1. Get Clear on Your Goal

Before you even start practicing, ask yourself: What do I want from this conversation?

  • Do you want an apology?
  • Do you need to set a boundary?
  • Do you want clarity on a misunderstanding?

➡️ Try this: Write down your goal in one sentence. If you’re not clear on what you want, the conversation can go in circles.


2. Script Your Key Points

When emotions run high, it’s easy to lose track of what you want to say. That’s why scripting out key points ahead of time helps you stay focused.

➡️ Try this: Write down 3-5 key things you want to say. Keep them simple, clear, and direct. You don’t need a full script—just enough to keep you on track.


3. Role-Play the Conversation

Now it’s time to practice out loud. Why? Because saying it in your head isn’t the same as actually speaking the words.

➡️ Try this: Stand in front of a mirror and practice. Notice your tone, your facial expressions, and your body language. If possible, practice with a trusted friend who can play the other person and give feedback.


4. Prepare for Their Reaction

Difficult conversations aren’t just about what you say—it’s also about how the other person might respond.

➡️ Try this: Think through different reactions they might have:
✔️ Will they get defensive?
✔️ Will they try to guilt-trip you?
✔️ Will they ignore your concerns?

Once you’ve thought about their possible responses, practice how you will handle them calmly.


5. Plan Your Exit Strategy

Not every conversation will go smoothly, and that’s okay. But you should have a plan for how to wrap things up if the conversation isn’t going well.

➡️ Try this: Come up with a closing statement, such as:
✔️ “I hear what you’re saying, and I need some time to process this.”
✔️ “I don’t think we’re getting anywhere right now, so let’s take a break and revisit this later.”

This keeps you in control and prevents the situation from escalating.


Use Your Voice

Sis, difficult conversations aren’t just about getting your point across—they’re about honoring yourself. You are allowed to speak up, to ask for what you need, and to hold people accountable.

And the more you rehearse and prepare, the easier it gets. You don’t have to be perfect—you just have to be brave enough to try.


Uplifting Call to Action

So here’s what I want you to do: Think of a conversation you’ve been avoiding. Take Step 1 today—write down what you really want from that conversation.

Because sis, you are powerful. Your words carry weight. And you deserve to be heard.

Let me know in the comments: What’s one conversation you want to feel more confident having? Let’s talk about it!


Author

  • Shelia Huggins Photo for Black Girl Heal Blog

    Shelia Huggins is a 20+ year attorney who has helped clients with their business and personal legal challenges. She blogs at Black Girl Heal to provide insight and practical strategies for those seeking to heal the struggles of their wallets, mindsets, and lives. Known as "Ms Legalista" on YouTube, she is passionate about helping people find their path and achieve the personal success they've been looking for.

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