Black Girl Heal is a reader-supported site. When you visit or purchase through links on the site, we may receive a commission.
Hello, my beautiful sisters.
Today, let’s talk about patience—the kind we often forget to give ourselves.
We’re quick to encourage others, to cheer them on when they stumble, but when it comes to our own struggles, we can be harsh, judgmental, and even cruel.
If you’ve ever felt frustrated with yourself for not reaching a goal fast enough, making a mistake, or simply not being where you think you should be, this is for you.
Let’s dive into how we can become more patient with ourselves, offering the same grace we’d give anyone else.
Why Is Patience with Ourselves So Hard?
Sisters, I know this feeling all too well.
Maybe you’ve been working on a goal—building a business, starting a fitness journey, or even healing emotionally—and it feels like you’re stuck. You start questioning yourself, doubting your worth, and thinking, Why can’t I just get it together?
The truth is, we live in a world that celebrates instant results. Social media makes it look like everyone else has it figured out while we’re over here trying to make sense of things. It’s no wonder we’re hard on ourselves.
But let me remind you: growth is not linear.
Progress isn’t always pretty. And the timeline for your success doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. The most important thing is to keep going, even when it feels slow.
Patience Is an Act of Love
Think about how you’d support a friend who’s struggling.
Would you tell her she’s a failure, or would you encourage her to keep going? You deserve that same kindness. Patience with yourself isn’t just a virtue—it’s an act of love.
5 Keys to Becoming More Patient with Yourself
1. Practice Self-Compassion
When you make a mistake or fall short, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, talk to yourself as you would a friend. Say, “It’s okay. I’m learning, and I’ll do better next time.”
2. Set Realistic Expectations
Sometimes, we’re impatient because we’ve set impossible goals for ourselves. Break big goals into smaller, more manageable steps. Celebrate each step forward, no matter how small.
3. Shift Your Perspective
Instead of focusing on how far you have to go, look at how far you’ve come. Reflect on the challenges you’ve already overcome and use that as motivation to keep moving forward.
4. Create a Graceful Routine
Incorporate practices into your daily life that remind you to slow down and breathe. Meditation, journaling, or even taking a walk can help you reset when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
5. Remind Yourself of God’s Timing
Trust that everything happens when it’s meant to. You’re not behind; you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. God is working in your life, even in the waiting season.
How to Start Practicing Patience Today
- Identify One Area for Growth: What’s one thing you’ve been frustrated with yourself about? Write it down and reflect on why you’re feeling impatient.
- Speak Words of Kindness: Every time you catch yourself thinking negatively, replace it with a kind affirmation. For example, “I’m making progress every day.”
- Track Your Wins: Keep a journal of the small victories you achieve. Seeing your progress on paper can remind you that growth is happening.
- Ask for Support: Share your journey with someone you trust. Having someone to encourage you can make all the difference.
- Pray for Patience: When you’re struggling, take a moment to pray. Ask God to give you the strength to keep going and the patience to wait for His perfect timing.
Uplifting Call to Action
My beautiful sisters, being patient with yourself is a journey, not a destination. You’re doing the best you can with what you have, and that is enough.
Remember: growth takes time, and every step you take—no matter how small—is bringing you closer to your dreams. So be kind to yourself.
Offer yourself the same love, grace, and encouragement you’d give to anyone else.
You’ve got this, and I’m cheering for you every step of the way. Keep going, sis. Your future self will thank you.
