Image from the Black Girl Heal website article: How to Stop Second-Guessing Yourself
Wellness

How to Stop Second-Guessing Yourself


Black Girl Heal is a reader-supported site. When you visit or purchase through links on the site, we may receive a commission.


Hello, my beautiful sisters.

Have you ever made a decision, only to find yourself immediately doubting it?

You replay it in your mind, worrying if you made the right call.

You ask five different people what they think, and suddenly, you feel even more confused than before. It’s exhausting, right?

That constant second-guessing keeps you stuck, drains your confidence, and stops you from moving forward with your goals.

But today, we’re going to change that.


Stop Beating Yourself Up

Sisters, I know what it feels like to doubt yourself.

Maybe you’ve been told you make bad decisions. Maybe you’ve made mistakes in the past, and now, every choice feels like it carries the weight of the world.

Or maybe you just don’t trust yourself because you’ve never been in a position where you were allowed to.

Second-guessing yourself is like standing at a crossroads and refusing to walk because you’re afraid of taking the wrong path.

But let me tell you this—standing still is a decision, too. And it’s not one that serves you.

You are capable of making good decisions.

But when we constantly seek reassurance from others, we give away our power. We end up following other people’s ideas, even when they don’t align with what we truly want.

And worst of all? We stop trusting ourselves.

So how do we break this cycle? Let’s get into it.


Practical Steps to Stop Second-Guessing Yourself

  1. Identify Your Triggers
    When do you start second-guessing yourself? Is it when you have to make a big decision? When you’re out of your comfort zone? Or maybe when someone questions you? Recognizing the moments when doubt creeps in helps you take control before it spirals.
  2. Limit the Opinions You Seek
    If you’re asking five different people for advice, you’re likely to get five different answers. The more perspectives you gather, the more confusion you create. Instead, choose one or two trusted people who truly understand your values and goals. And remember—sometimes, the only opinion that matters is your own.
  3. Make Decisions Quickly & Stick to Them
    Confidence isn’t about always making the perfect choice; it’s about making a choice and committing to it. Set a time limit for making decisions. For example, “I will decide within 24 hours and not look back.” This builds self-trust over time.
  4. Remind Yourself of Past Wins
    Think back to times when you made decisions that turned out well. You have proof that you can trust yourself. Keep a “confidence journal” where you write down past moments where your gut instinct was right.
  5. Reframe Failure as Feedback
    The truth is, you will make mistakes. We all do. But making a wrong decision doesn’t mean you’re incapable—it means you’re learning. Instead of beating yourself up, ask: What did this teach me? How can I improve next time?

You Don’t Need Permission

Sisters, you are more powerful than you give yourself credit for.

You don’t have to wait for someone else to validate you. You don’t need permission to trust your own voice.

Every strong woman you admire got where she is because she made decisions—even when she wasn’t 100% sure.

And so can you.


Uplifting Call to Action

Starting today, I want you to practice owning your decisions.

The next time you feel doubt creeping in, pause and remind yourself: I am capable. I trust my judgment. I make wise decisions.

Say it out loud. Write it down. And most importantly, believe it.

Drop a “No More Second-Guessing” in the comments if you’re ready to step into your confidence.

You got this, sis! 💛


Author

  • Shelia Huggins Photo for Black Girl Heal Blog

    Shelia Huggins is a 20+ year attorney who has helped clients with their business and personal legal challenges. She blogs at Black Girl Heal to provide insight and practical strategies for those seeking to heal the struggles of their wallets, mindsets, and lives. Known as "Ms Legalista" on YouTube, she is passionate about helping people find their path and achieve the personal success they've been looking for.

    View all posts

WANT MORE?

SIGN UP TO RECEIVE THE LATEST INSPIRATION FOR YOUR CAREER, MONEY HUSTLE, AND WELLNESS, PLUS SOME EXCLUSIVE GOODIES!

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *