Image from the Black Girl Heal website article: How to Say No to Things That Don’t Support Your Goals
Goals

How to Say No to Things That Don’t Support Your Goals

Black Girl Heal is a reader-supported site. When you visit or purchase through links on the site, we may receive a commission.


Hello, my beautiful sisters!

Let’s talk about one of the hardest yet most powerful words in our vocabulary: No.

Sometimes, it feels easier to say yes—to avoid disappointing others, to feel included, or to avoid confrontation.

But, my sisters, every time you say yes to something that doesn’t align with your goals, you’re saying no to your dreams.

Let’s dive into how to reclaim your time, energy, and focus by learning to say no with purpose and grace.


Every Yes Costs You Something

I know how it feels to want to be everything for everyone.

Maybe you’ve been juggling work, family, and a side hustle, and still find yourself volunteering for that extra committee or running an errand that someone else could’ve handled.

The truth is, saying yes all the time often leaves us depleted. It can make us feel like we’re on a hamster wheel—busy, but not productive.

Here’s the kicker: every yes costs you something.

It costs time you could’ve spent working on your passion project, energy you could’ve used to take care of yourself, and focus you need to reach your next milestone.

Learning to say no isn’t selfish; it’s an act of self-preservation and alignment.


Practical Steps For Saying No

  1. Clarify Your Goals
    Write down your top three goals and keep them visible—on your desk, your mirror, or your phone wallpaper. This clarity makes it easier to recognize when an opportunity doesn’t align.
  2. Use a Decision Framework
    When faced with a request, ask yourself:
    • Does this align with my goals?
    • Will this bring me closer to the life I want?
    • Am I saying yes out of guilt or obligation?
      If the answers don’t support your goals, it’s a no.
  3. Practice Polite Refusals
    Saying no doesn’t have to be harsh. Try responses like:
    • “Thank you for thinking of me, but I can’t commit to this right now.”
    • “I’d love to help, but my plate is full at the moment.”
    • “This sounds great, but it’s not in line with what I’m focusing on right now.”
  4. Set Boundaries in Advance
    Make it known to yourself—and others—that your time is precious. For example, dedicate specific hours to working on your goals and protect that time fiercely.
  5. Anticipate Pushback
    Some people won’t understand your no, and that’s okay. Stand firm and remember: you’re not responsible for their disappointment. Your responsibility is to your purpose and progress.

Image from the Black Girl Heal website article: How to Say No to Things That Don’t Support Your Goals
Credit: Canva

Get Comfortable Saying No

Saying no can feel uncomfortable at first, but with practice, it becomes empowering.

Every no you say to distractions is a yes to your dreams.

You deserve a life aligned with your goals, not one dictated by everyone else’s priorities.


Uplifting Call to Action

Today, I challenge you to identify one thing you can say no to—something that doesn’t serve your goals or align with your values.

Let go of the guilt, stand in your truth, and redirect that energy toward what truly matters to you.

Remember, sisters, your purpose is waiting, and every decision you make should bring you closer to it.

Let’s build a life of intention together. You’ve got this! 💖

Author

  • Shelia Huggins Photo for Black Girl Heal Blog

    Shelia Huggins is a 20+ year attorney who has helped clients with their business and personal legal challenges. She blogs at Black Girl Heal to provide insight and practical strategies for those seeking to heal the struggles of their wallets, mindsets, and lives. Known as "Ms Legalista" on YouTube, she is passionate about helping people find their path and achieve the personal success they've been looking for.

    View all posts

WANT MORE?

SIGN UP TO RECEIVE THE LATEST INSPIRATION FOR YOUR CAREER, MONEY HUSTLE, AND WELLNESS, PLUS SOME EXCLUSIVE GOODIES!

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *